Batman vs Tifa
by Sai Kunai Blade
Summary: Tifa opens up a bar in Gotham. On her way home, she encounters a street gang that wants to do less-than-appropriate things to her. As she hands them their asses on a silver platter, Batman watches and is unsure if she is dangerous or not. He tries to find out for himself and things go wrong and lead to a fight. The Dark Knight vs. The bar-owning brawler. WHO... WILL... WIN...?


Some time after the events of Advent Children, Tifa had opened up a bar in Gotham City (just go along with this, please. I'm not that good, I don't know how else this would go down). She just closed up shop and was walking back to the apartment her and Cloud had rented when she suddenly stopped in front of an alley she heard noises coming from. "Hello?" She asked.

The slightly twisted-sounding laughter she heard grew as a small gang of about 5 thugs stepped out. "Well, hey, pretty lady. Where are you off to in such a rush? Why don't you stick around. Hang with us. We could have some fun." The apparent leader of the group said, continuing to walk forward, looking like he was reaching to the zipper of his pants.

Tifa narrowed her eyes slightly at this, but put a smile on her face, trying to be as convincing with it as possible, in spite that it was fake. "That sounds like a nice offer, but I have to get home. Sorry." She said, getting ready to walk off, but then he pulled out a knife.

"Oh, I think you can stick around for a little longer. Otherwise, I might have to stick this knife in you." He said.

She threw away the fake smile at this point and glared at the man. "Piss off!" She told him.

He chuckled at this, looking back at his boys quickly before turning to her. "Oh, babe... That was a mistake!" He said, stabbing outward with the knife, but she quickly grabbed his wrist and his elbow, throwing him over her shoulder and slamming him to the ground, kicking him in the head while he was down and knocking him unconscious. One of his thugs behind her broke a bottle over a dumpster and charged at her, but she merely looked over her shoulder and threw a rear kick at him, catching him dead in the center of the chest, knocking the wind out of him and sending him flying back into the brick wall at the end of the alley, knocking him out. The next one came at her and threw a wild haymaker, but she easily blocked it, grabbed the side of his head and banged his head off the dumpster. This brought him to his knees and she threw a right hook to the side of his head, knocking him out and to the ground. The next one came with a knife, but she brought her leg up for a rear kick, catching him in the head and sending him face-first into the wall of the building to the side, knocking his lights out as well. Finally, the last one came at her and tried to grab her, but she put grabbed his shoulder with her left hand and drilled him in the stomach with her right hand, knocking the wind out of him, then she brought him over to the dumpster, opened the lid and smashed his head in between the lid and dumpster twice, then threw him in, as he was now unconscious as well.

"Ah, all done." She sighed in relief. Suddenly, she heard some groaning behind her and looked to see that the first thug was slowly starting to get up. "Or maybe not." She said, walking over, grabbing him by the neck and picking him up off the ground, grabbing his knife and holding it up to his crotch. "Now, are we ever going to have an incident like this again?" She asked with a tone of authority.

"No, ma'am! Please!" He said.

"Are you sure?" She asked, pressing the knife up closely to his crotch to the point he could feel the pressure of the blade through his clothes.

"Yes, please, don't!" He said.

"Good boy." She said, dropping the knife and punching him in the face to knock him out again. She was about to walk off, but then she heard something land a few feet behind her. "Oh, what now?" She asked, turning around, coming face to face with the notorious Batman. This startled her and she jumped back, taking her fighting stance. "So, you're the infamous Batman. I've heard a lot about you in my bar. I thought it was just an urban legend. Guess I was wrong." She said.

"Yes. You were. I saw you beat up those thugs. I don't blame you, but you could've been a bit more reserved about it. Especially on that last one." He said.

"I didn't hurt them too bad. They'll recover. I just had to get my point across. You know that more than anyone from what I hear." She said. She turned around and started to walk off at this point.

"Wait!" He told her. She didn't respond to this. "I said WAIT!" He said, throwing a batarang at her.

**Background music: "You're Going Down" by Sick Puppies**

She quickly spun around and knocked it out of the air, then rushed at him. This genuinely surprised him, her speed being much greater than his own. She threw a hard punch at his chest, which he blocked, but the force of the attack still sent him back until he hit the same building he dropped off of, also the same building she bounced the third thug's head off of. She then rushed in at him and threw a flying kick at his head, but he managed to dodge and step back. So instead, she put her foot on the building and pushed off to lunge towards him, kicking him in the chest and sending him halfway down the alley she had beaten up the punks in. He recovered, quickly getting back to his feet and throwing a kick at her, but she easily blocked it and grabbed him by the shoulders, running forward and getting a good amount of momentum. She then jumped into the air, got him under her feet and pushed off of him to send him to the ground again. HARD, while at the same time clearing a good amount of distance in case he got up again. Due to his suit being metal, it took most of the damage for him and did allow him to get up once again.

(I need to change tactics. Hand-to-hand combat isn't working.) He thought, pulling out a number of smoke bombs and throwing them to the ground, completely shrouding the distance between the two in smoke.

"Huh. Smoke bombs. Nice trick, but Yuffie uses those all the time, so good luck trying to trick me with those." She said. Suddenly, her right arm began glowing and a burst of wind shot out of it clearing the smoke and catching the unprepared Batman off-guard blasting him back once again.

Batman was shocked at what happened, quickly looking up anything related to this with his cowl, but finding nothing. "What was that?" He demanded in his darker, angrier interrogation voice.

"Why should I tell you?" She asked.

(This only adds to my theory that she's dangerous. I need to figure out how she does that as well). He thought to himself. "You're coming with me!" He said.

"I haven't done anything wrong! And besides, my boyfriend's waiting for me at home. Sorry." She said in a confident tone.

Batman then fired the batclaw at her, but she not only managed to avoid it, but grabbed the wire and pulled Batman in, delivering a kick to his chest, then a rapid combo of punches to his face, finishing with an uppercut, launching him into the air. She then jumped into the air and her entire body began glowing with what looked like cosmic energy. "Planet's power!" She announced, before pummeling Batman in midair with a small volley of punches and finishing with a powerful kick with both legs to his face, sending him flying to the other end of the street, landing hard. As he was getting up, she quickly ran in, planted a foot on his forward leg, which was bent, as he was still in the process of getting up, then she did a backflip to catch him under the chin with one of her feet again, staggering him back while landing perfectly.

They both got in their stances again and Tifa feigned like she was about to rush him, to which he threw a kick aimed at her head that completely missed and then she moved in, hitting him in the chest with a few fast attacks, then rolling back and her left arm then began to glow. Then, a few shard of ice came from her hand and launched themselves at Batman, who managed to dodge the first few, but was hit with the last one, blasting him back, causing him to hit a wall. She then rushed in to deliver a finishing kick to his head, but he rolled forward to avoid it and was now behind her as she once again pushed off the wall and got ready to throw a haymaker at his face, but he once again pulled out the batclaw and, due to the close proximity being basically point blank, Tifa could not dodge this time as the claw latched onto her vest and Batman pulled her down to hit the ground. He tried to take her down on the ground, but she recovered, kicking him in the chest and staggering him back. She then got up and both were staring each other down. Tifa was the one that ended the stare-down, using another technique. She dragged her foot on the ground from behind her to in front of her in a crescent shape, which was on fire, then suddenly and inexplicably flew forward with the leg she used to draw the crescent straight out for a kick with her foot on fire, the speed and short distance making it impossible for him to dodge in time, her kick colliding with his face, burning it, sending him flying one final time and knocking him unconscious.

Tifa finally let out a sigh of relief, looking down at Batman. "You need to train more!" She said in a serious tone, pausing for a moment. "Just kidding!" She laughed. "Now, then, time to finally get home before Cloud gets worried." She said, hurrying to her apartment.

After she left, Catwoman dropped from a building, landing right beside Batman. "Well, well, looks like you lost to a woman again. Don't worry, I'll stay here and protect you until you wake up." She said,gently running her hand along his face, leaning up against a wall, keeping an eye on him.

_Reasons for the outcome:_

_1: Tifa has the advantage in basically EVERY category. Strength: in Advent Children, she is able to effortlessly smash through a church bench, throw around Loz; a remnant of Sephiroth, like a ragdoll, can effortlessly send the shadow tiger things the remnants create flying with one kick and easily throw Cloud AT MINIMUM 3 stories (approx. 36 feet) into the air, all feats or which Batman is incapable of, as he is shown in Arkham Asylum to have difficulty breaking through reinforced glass without the help of his gadgets. Speed: can easily dodge multiple attacks from Sephiroth with time to spare, who is faster than any regular human being, she is also capable of running up walls, which takes a significant amount of speed Batman clearly does not have, as he requires gadgets to ascend walls and buildings. Skill: Once again, can match a remnant of Sephiroth and would've defeated him had he A, been any closer to a human than he was and B, didn't cheat by teleporting and catching her off-guard, she is also seen to be able to hold her own against Sephiroth, despite not being able to defeat him, also, she is the only member of the cast that fights without an actual weapon, going-hand-to-hand and I believe it's implied she became more skilled and powerful than her master. Durability: Survived multiple encounters with Sephiroth on her own, multiple electrocutions from Loz's gauntlet, getting smashed through a number of church benches and getting smashed through a stone pillar and possibly getting stabbed multiple times by the spikes on Loz's gauntlet, whereas getting stabbed or shot puts Batman out of the fight INSTANTLY._

_2: Tifa's materia would catch Batman off-guard and lessen the effectiveness of his gadgets and eliminate his use of stealth, which are his most valuable weapons. Also, he would not have a way to counter them, as they are not mechanic like most other weapons he's faced and can tamper with. Also, it is highly unlikely he would be able to dodge any of these attacks, given the close proximity, being within the "no dodge" range of 25-36 feet, as well as the high-speeds of the materia attacks and having to recover from previous attacks before being able to focus on new ones_

_3: Tifa's feints would catch Batman off-guard, since he would not be expecting it, as all his opponents normally go through with trying to hit him after they commit to it instead of faking it._

_4: A number of enemies slower than Tifa have been shown to counter or dodge Batman's batclaw, so Tifa, who is faster and has dodged faster attacks, would be able to do so with little effort. In the end, she holds every advantage and is able to eliminate his advantages._


End file.
